In my last blog (December 26, 2018) I was talking about what a year it has been for me, we are exactly 2 months later today, and I must say im doing better with one step at a time! I have taken a lot of gas back and plan enough moments of rest. I started working less and spent more time to sort things out for myself.
You know, I always expected to much from myself, had to be productive all the time and spend my days as useful as possible. I could not sleep out, because that would be a waist of my day where I wanted to get the most out of it. I also always set too many goals and when I did not achieve it I was disappointed, yes disappointed in myself. My mind was always full, no matter how I tried it, I continuously tried to overtake my lost time, which is of course impossible. I actually did not realize at all that just by forcing myself so, I was actually losing more and more time, and that awareness is slowly coming to me. I'm actually a little bit done with being busy all the time or want to be busy in other words. Giving an example; I travel regularly and I ALWAYS take a book with me, and no not only a reading book, a book that has to do with work, a course or a training so that I can prepare some things during the hours on the plane. Or if I have some time left at the hotel, or can read through the pool. That kind of thing. Useful spend of my time with wanting to be productive, and therefore not allow myself relaxation. Well we are going to change that! To start with no more books (except reading books) that have to do with some form of work or a course when I go on vacation.
After returning from Costa Rica, mid December 2018, I faced extreme fatigue, probably it had to do with a combination of both jet lag and the bright sun in Costa Rica, it was around 35 degrees every day and the dry time had just begun. The sun is for many lupus patients, even for me, a big enemy who can disrupt the immune system. It is advisable for me to avoid direct sunlight as much as possible and in the summer months or during sun holidays protect the skin with a high-factor sunscreen. I also applied the sunscreen smear during my stay in Costa Rica. So after returning to the Netherlands I slept around 10 to 12 hours a night and I was still very tired during the day. I knew that work would be very busy until the first week of January 2019, but I had decided to take some big steps back after that. Rest and rest. After a long time I followed some series on Netflix again, without feeling guilty that I did nothing. And now I watch a serie or a movie regularly before I go to sleep, instead of being busy with something behind my laptop. The restlessness in my head is slightly less, it is still there, but less. I am going to start yoga, I take up sports very slowly and I do not plan my days so full. And it does me good! I walk outside a lot more, despite the cold, and that is also bearing fruit. And of course my therapy in connection with the mental issues, I'm still working on that and that will remain the same for now.
We can all overcome life’s challenges with strenght and grace. Honor the struggles of life by facing them, fighting them, but meeting them with peace and acceptance, knowing that they are necessary and important for making us stronger….Brendon Burchard
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